A man had to attend
a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his
wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said:
"You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour."
The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close
to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking
this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes
the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says
he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the
story is true. "Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"
So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in. "What," he
says, "are you doing here?"
The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"

A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.

That night the wife approached her husband wearing the exact same sexy negligee she had worn on their wedding night.

She looked at her husband and said, "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looked up at her and said, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."

She said, "That's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?"

He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asked.

He responded, "As I remember, I said, 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those big boobs and screw your brains out.' "

She giggled and said, "Yes honey, that's exactly what you said. So, now it's 50 years later, and I'm in the same negligee I wore that night. What do you have to say tonight?"

Again he looked up at her, and he replied, "Mission accomplished."