A guy comes home
to his wife one evening with a big bunch of flowers and she says "I suppose this
means I have to get on my back with my legs open for the next three days".
The husband says "Why? Don't you have any vases?"

A teenager comes
home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies
come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?"
"Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and
she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth
out?"