A blind man walks
into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to
the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read
the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it
and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a
greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.
The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's
what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to
himself as he walks towards the kitchen.
The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a
menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again
retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath,
the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macaroni and cheese with
broccoli."
Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing
around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's
going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs
to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around your vagina before I take it to
the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind
man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready
for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't
know that Mary worked here?"

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."