Luke's wife bought
a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products she
asked, "Darling, honestly what age would you say I am?"
Looking over her carefully, Luke replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your
hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty-five."
"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Luke interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."

One day, Harry
came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this
way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of
clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
She spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success
had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level
of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his
luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found
a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his
advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level,
he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't
believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next
level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see
a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and
walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess."